Women need more than “follow your passion”

My grandmother was an ordinary Japanese woman. She maintained a small garden with her husband, she went to haiku and chorus clubs during the day, and watched TV at night. She read the newspaper, but I had never seen her read a book.

Throughout my time with her, she kept saying that I didn't need to push myself hard. She always told me that the most important thing was me being healthy.

So I was surprised when my mother told me that my grandmother loved studies and she had top grades at school, and it was her life regret that she couldn't continue her studies. Her parents believed women didn't need education and didn't let her go to high school. During her funeral, her brother and sisters told me how she was legendary in their school and her teachers kept talking about her even after she graduated. She was the best both in studies and sports.

Both my mother and her sister were not into studies. That frustrated my grandmother a lot. They had an opportunity to learn but they were not passionate about it. My mother never told me to study because she hated being told that. I happened to be a child who liked studying and she felt that she had paid off her debt to her mother when I entered a top university.

My mother is also a typical Japanese woman of her age. She quit her job to take care of me full-time, and then went back to a low-paid job when I grew up while she did all the housework at the same time. I once heard my mother and her friends say that however hard they worked, they got little money, while their daughters earned more money than their fathers.

When I was 15, I abandoned my passion for math and decided not to choose STEM as my major. I loved the internet and was having fun making websites, but it never crossed my mind that this was something I could study at university or a career path I could choose. I was still hesitating, but my friend said that I would be the only girl in the classroom, and 15-year-old me didn't want that. I still remember the sad feeling when I saw there were three girls in the classroom and realized that I would not have been alone.

Some people argue that if you have true passion, you can overcome any obstacle. Maybe. But my grandmother was passionate too. She had the best grades in her school, and her teachers kept talking about her after she graduated. The obstacles were too high, and at some point she had to give up. I wonder where her passion could have led her if she had been given the right opportunities.

So on this International Women's Day, I wish that people realize that following your passion is not just about the individual ambition of women, but also about living in an environment where they have the same amount of support (and obstacles) as men.

If you talk to your mother or grandmother, you might find out a similar family history. If you do, I would love to hear it. Your story can inspire others to build a better environment at work and at home for future generations.